I didn’t write anything yesterday, election day here in the U.S., because I didn’t want to write about politics. I wanted the day to go by, and to return to talking about graphic design and layout CSS on Wednesday, today, the day after.

Instead, I’m stunned. Overwhelmed. We just elected a hateful man. Who will bring us a terrible, terrible future. I couldn’t walk through my neighborhood without crying this morning. How do I look friends in the face, knowing they could be snatched from their beds one night next year and dragged away to a country they don’t know anymore. It seems crazy to care about CSS right now.

I quit Twitter today — at least for the week. I’m sure I’ll return eventually and use it as a announce things again, but I’m not sure whether I’ll ever return to Twitter as my main space to have conversations. It’s time we stop relying on one central location that we don’t control. And today, it seems especially fruitless and hollow to shout into a void full of trolls. So I’m here again. Writing.

I have a vague sense I want to post here everyday. So here’s the second day. This site is very raggedy and needs a lot of work. I’m just doing it as I can, bit by bit. Today I added all the events I’ve already booked for 2017.

Meanwhile, I’m making another demo of CSS Grid and writing an article about it. Here’s a peek:

a screenshot of the Spacejam homepage half done, laid out using CSS Grid

I won’t publish it for a while. Today feels like September 12th, 2001. How can we do anything publicly but grieve and fear? And reconsider what’s important in life. What kind of world we want to build. How we want to use these powerful technologies with more care, more morality.

Feel free to comment below. We can have a conversation here. You can link your your website, your blog posts. And I’ll go read them. The formats of comments are awful right now. I’ll fix that soon. One step at a time. One breath at a time. One meal at a time. One sleep at a time. If we can sleep.

We would really rather have a rapist for our leader than a woman? Of course there are thousands of ways to understand what just happened — but this is one of the loudest ones in my head today. We would rather put a man who’s repeatedly raped young teenagers in charge than dare to have a woman President. That’s how much our culture hates women.

Oh, and the planet is done. We have no chance of slowing climate change now. It’s over. If we didn’t have a loud clock ticking, we could go through a round of fascism and economic depression, camps and killing, and come out the other side. Eventually people want peace. Eventually people realize love and tolerance make for a better life for everyone. But never before have we had the very health of the planet at stake. This time will will miss our very last window to stop burning fossil fuels, to slow the melting of the ice, to save some natural habitat. Maybe it wasn’t possible anyway, but we were all set to try. Now we aren’t going to try. Now we are simply and completely fucked.

I passed a friend this morning in the street, and she said simply “Where are you going to go?” I replied, “There is no where to go.”

I couldn’t walk past toddlers this morning without apologizing with every cell in my body — I’m so so so sorry. Your life, you… you will be fucked. We just destroyed your planet. I’ll hopefully be dead before it gets really bad. You won’t.

I’ve never been so relieved that I didn’t have children.